Wardrobe Malfunction Series
by janahjean
Summary: Could be a series in the future. Story is clark kent and his wardrobe
1. Chapter 1

I don't own _. _ is the property of DC comics, WB and are not my intellectual property. There is no financial gain made from this nor will any be sought. This is for entertainment purposes only.

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03052017

#43 **Wardrobe malfunction**

(Superman Return and Smallville fanfiction)

By: janahjeanb

after his hospitalization, Superman find himself trying to get inside the daily planet in any means necessary to change into his Clark persona.

To his dismay, he cant find an open window anywhere and even more the passerbys and people on the surrounding bldgs are paying sudden attention on his panic hovering and circling on the building.

"Gaddamnit." He cursed finally giving up after he punch one wall in frustration. He vanished deciding a trip to Smallville is required

"Uhm." Clark look suspiciously at his mother thinking despite the perfect calm face, the woman is probably laughing in glee.

If only he had an apartment already in metropolis, as it is, all his cheap baggy business suits are stuck in three of his suitcases in a storage roim inside the bullpen of Daily Planet. What remains back in smallville however…

"Are y-you sure Mama?" He asked yet again.

"Pshaw." Martha Kent said dismissively. "That was like a season two and season three episodes ago. Your bad boys phase is already old news, Clark."

Clark relax immediately at his mom's assurance. He finally pick the black reefer? Macintosh? (fuck if i know its a long black jacket that covered until feet level) That he used as Kal back in his rebel phase when he was 18 which is...gosh, fifteen years ago! His mouth curl in a mixture of dark amusement and embarassment in remembrance. The red leather jacket is much to close to his superman color and so he leave it.and besides he will only be wearing it to get into the building, so he is cool with it.

"Ahhh!" Bad boy Kal found himself driving a stolen car AND leading a five police car chase inside Metropolis hiways.

He forgot that there had been a lifesize picture of him in this exact same getup in every precint scattered in metropolis.

-the end-

 _an/ i havent watch a single complete episode of smallville. This is inspired by a pin._ _Bday of jke._ _no lpg. i discovered snc all male acapella group in youtube. awesome_.


	2. Chapter 2

#43

(A xover wit young justice)

By: janahjeanb

3/7/2017

Clark Kent wanted to cry when he discover that all four suits are soiled and he have no choice but to bring back his old blue shirt and red jacket hero costume back out in the open which remind him of his teenage years. True, he could just fly home back in Smallville and have her mom washed it for him but lately Martha Kent look at him stinked eye especially if its about his laundry or ironing needs. And Clark isnt just ready for another lecture about his state of life right now.

Before he could change his mind, his superhearing picked out Lois shouting his name. He spin into his blue jeans, red jacket ensemble and flew out of his apartment window.

"You called Miss Lane?" he asked as he hover above the human on top of the daily planet's rooftop.

Theres a small frown that marred Lois's eyebrow. "Superboy?" She addressed then shrug,"youll do."

Clark just gaped.

(S)

Superboy wonder how he comes into this awkward situation as he pat Superman's back in comfort.

Superman was wailing into his knees as he sat almost into a ball right in the middle of the young justice's practice room. He had been there stubbornly oblivious to the much polite throat clearing at the beginning and Artemis screaming right in the middle of practice when he mess up their strategy by being there.

"We'll be on the other room," aqualad said as he push Conner towards the older hero before they left the two.

"What's wrong?" Conner said as he settle beside the older guy.

Clark sigh. They totally ignore the way the enemy AI targetted them and attack them with all they got.

"Can i borrow your Superman suit superboy?" Clark finally asked in a small voice.

Conner,at age 18 and boy he really is thinking of changing his hero moniker, frowned as he absentmindedly flick with his finger one robot who got way too close. "Is this the same suit that you burned with your laser vision and toss into the sun while screaming that no clone of yours will taint the house of kal-el crest?"

Clark turned red in embarassment. "That was a long time ago!" He cried hotly.

"That was a week ago!"

"Come on Kon!" Clark stood up after dusting himself. "We are friends and well, friends are suppose to help each other."

Conner looked up. "We've been only friends like three days ago, dude and only because batman threaten you with kryptonite"

Clark turn a darker shade of red if possible. "Eh," he scratched his head sheepishly. "Ill do anything."

Conner was laughing when Clark have to share why this sudden investment of a red and blue suit and how Lois mistaken him for somebody else because of his change of hero uniform in return for borrowing a suit.

"Wait here." Conner was still giggling as he float towards his quarter.

Clark groan when he notice what Conner brought him."youre a jackass!" He declare as he grab the suit and superspeed out of there.but well, he is not actually surprise. This is Conner- the guy who loved punk outfit afterall. Now who else knows that he had had used this certain uniform before and give it to kon?

(S)

"Youre a manipulative woman, Miss Lane." Superboy said with admiration over the phone as both watch the report on tv as Superman wearing an all doom and gloom outfit of pure "emo" black outercoat with a black tshirt inside with a silver "S" uppercut a giant robot with none of his usual expressionless, cool and distant look. The reporter's video recorder have zoomed enough that they captured perfectly the scowl that usually is at Superboy's face.

Lois Lane calmly sipped her tea, wedding band sparkling for no reason at all except its a luxurious violet kryptonite. She sigh dreamily," isnt he just dreamy in black??!"

-the end-

An/ Check out veritas by shayne terry. Nuff said.


	3. 032817

An/ _written because on my two years publishing stories experience- april have been a no published story month for me. Weird. (I might or might not break it.) This is my last hurrah for March._

Anyway the story below is weirder, let an old woman have her fun (please)

(Im ashamed to give this a title)

By janahjean

"Guys please don't," Clark beg when he spotted Bruce's kids... _Bruce with kids! Who would have imagine?!_ Trying to picklock his display cabinet of his S-suits.

He just get back from the shower and had just get back at the sala and spotted Dick trying to open said cabinet and judging by Jason's grin- the latter must have goaded him to do it.

"B-but Uncle Clark! This is so cool and that means you were cool too back when you are wearing this." Jason said earnestly practically salivating in an effort to get the long black trenchcoat thing.

"You in black? I cant even imagine." Dick was shaking his head in disbelief.

Clark was amuse at the way the kids team up to butter him up. "Alright guys," he rolled his eyes before he unlock the display much to their excited cheer.

"Try it first please." Dick beg when Clark toss him the coat.

Clark and Dick share a smile at Jason's impatient and eager look.

Jason and Dick laugh seeing just then how much Clark had filled out.

"You need to eat Miss Lane's cooking more." Jason suggested as he tap Clark's six pack. The alien is a beefcake.

Clark look horrified at Jason's suggestion. "I was 16 when I wore this. I just filled out." He explained as he started taking out the coat.

Jason eagerly start peeling his clothes without shame as Clark and Dick voice their complain at his stripping. "Well, I don't care. I really love the villain look you are trying there."

Clark flushed at that. "More of anti-hero look than villain," he relented.

Jason admire himself in the mirror before he started shoving guns on his pockets.

"I'm going to practice with this." Jason declare looking quite deadly despite really not fitting into the suit.

"You coming Dickface?"

Clark gape wondering when exactly did Dick grab the other retired proto-superman suit from the other display and put it on.

He watched Dick readjusted the collar of the red leather jacket with the distinctive crest. "Coming." He hollered following after his brother in one of the practice room.

Clark almost yelp when a new voice pipe in. He already forgot about Tim. "Nothing to report on the Justice League front." Tim reported before walking away from the Supermonitor with his cup of coffee.

Clark frowned at Tim's clothes which looks a lot like Conner's. As Tim readjusted the too big black tshirt, the older guy realized it is Conner's.

"And what are they calling themselves now?" Bruce was amused four nights later when Superman came to visit the batcave.

"Crows." Clark said absentmindedly tousling the youngest's hair.

Damian give a very good batglare at Clark before he resume sharpening his birdarang. "Good riddance to rubbish robins -tt-." He declare brattily.

Both adults ignore him. "Not that l appreciate the help…" Clark began.

Batman grunted as he steeple his hands in a pyramid. "I understand raising boys are hard work after all."

"So when will you pick em up?" Clark asked eagerly.

"Tomorrow night. Bring them with you at the Bat Signal."

(S)

Robin looked up when the colorful cape caught his attention.

"You're late -tt-," he growled as he hop up in the ledge of the building to glare better at Superman.

"We miss you too kiddo." the three former robins arrive as well as they swing down from their grapples.

"Check it out." Jason sang as he made a power pose with the black trench coat. Somehow his sheer bullheadedness made him lost his body mass to finally fit into the coat. It is still kinda snug but it work well for him.

"I'm Red Crowbar." He uh, crowed before he made a series of move that a novice wannabe martial artist do and would cost Batman a hissy fit if he see it.

"CrowWing here." Dick chimed in doing some fancy flip before he ended it with a peace sign.

"Im nauseaus." Tim admitted before he throw up on the side of the building.

Robin and Superman cover their hands and snicker at Tim's unintended joke.

"And I'm Batman." Batman growl showing up finally wearing a bulky anti-superman mecha suit.

"Oh.my.god!!" Tim squeeked, already geeking out at Batman's new armour.

Clark was swaying like a loose leaf before he fainted into a dead heap into Robin's arms- the latter having the presence of mind to watch the lone kryptonian and had leap into action when needed. He was the only one being affected by the kryptonite that is spread throughout Batman's suit.

"That is so cool, old man!" Jason gushed trying to rap the armour and was pleased at the metallic sound.

"I was trying to test this to the Kyrptonian but you guys will do." Batman mock- growl.

Oh. Ohhhhh." Dick sang when he gets it. He throw Batman a wink.

"Kah-yahhh!" Tim war cried already leaping into Batman's back.

Robin rolled his eyes at the antic of his brothers AND father. "Here Gordon," he said fishing out a camera and handing it to Jim. Jim took it and took over in guarding Superman.

There are days that Damian wish for a cooler brothers but tonight is not one of those nights. As he leap to join into the laughing and shouting mess- he was already thinking of soo many blackmail materials. Soo many of them.

-the end-

P.S. they concluded that there is no inclusive evidence that the anti-superman armour could withstand a Superman attack and all party agreed to test it out again sans Superman next week.

Batman sure have a weird way of showing how much he miss his sons.oh well.

An:

 _I wish v would tell aunt or even one of his cousins if he wont be eating dinner in the house like at five pm or so. Once again the meal reserved to him last night was spoiled and uneaten this morning. In short, its wasted and an insult to God's blessing._

Im gonna give a rest my regular trekking at my cousin's house to wifi today. Like, seriously id been to their house to do youtube and pinterest. Im already abusing their wifi fair data usage policy.

Its cloudy rainy.

 **March 28 2017**


	4. jacket

There is something about Superman wearing leather jacket that made the Justice League extra cautious in dealing with the Man of Steel.

Case in point at today's meeting where instead of Batman and Superman tryin to out stubborn each other and extend the meeting for hours, Batman just give a curt nod at Superman's proposal and then hasten to leave the tower to be in Gotham.

Flash swear the Bats muttered, "and God help the poor dolt who stand in Clark's way today."

Flash raised an eyebrow at that considering …

Shayeera was laughing, that laugh she normally reserve with John as she run a hand thru clark's red jacket.

Clark was equally laughing as he put a shoulder on Diana who was at his side as well.

Flash frown at the way Superman was fast gathering a flock of admiring females as he see Dinah Lance making his way towards Clark with Ollie trying to stop her by the edge of her black leather jacket to no avail.

(S)

Clark's smile was extra pearly, as he help Cyborg on the watchtower calibration, something like wearing leather jacket made Clark want to show off as he absentmindedly twirl the hundred tonne metal in one finger.

Cyborg was nervously keeping an eye on Clark.

(S)

"Under NO circumstances should you guys let Superman free on earth." Batman growl instruction at the JL channel that afternoon.

"Huh? Why?" Jon asked as he and J'onn fight against each other in the practice room.

They all allowed Diana's loud snoring to pass before Batman replied, " _Superman wearing that jacket made him extra everything …"_

Clark made his way upstair already half way in removing his business coat and fishing out the red leather jacket from the dimensional pocket.

"... _Extra- charming, extra-strong, extra everything. And sometimes…"_

He was standing with the Daily Planet globe behind him. taking in a deep breathe, he let go of the ransom note the kidnappers drop at Lois's desk. It floated and spiralled into the breeze.

"... _extra-vicious."_

The sonic boom was extra loud that day. Some could even say that there was even a trail of fire at his jettrail.

(The kidnappers swear Superman's eyes won't stop glowing red at them.)

-the end-

03282017

AN/ it's been two straight days now that i pretend to play as a student as my 6 years old niece play as teacher every time i visit my cousin's place. That or we pretend to be store owner and paying customers. Anyway, as it is i cant focus on pinning or youtubing. But, well, kids they grow up so fast, dont they?


	5. stripo

4272017

An/ imma pervert. My brain is in the gutter.

Strip me Down

By: janahjeanb

Clark is at least wrapped in three layers of clothing when he goes to work in the planet. Something which really drives Lois and Cat totally crazy.

"Hmm, is that why he didn't get sick? Those triple barriers probably impregnable." Cat said as she and Lois are shooting the breeze by the water cooler. Their eyes are tracking Clark who was tripping garbage cans and feet as he made his way to his desk.

Lois was more impress with Cat's use of heavy words rather than how could Clark even move with all that tonnes of fabric. "Nah, those clothes are to wards off females so that they can't sink their teeth on him." She said.

The two cracked up as a picture of Clark being chase by hordes on females came into their mind.

(S)

"Say chief," Lois looked around irritated when she get back from the ladies room and find the food they ordered already in place but Clark is gone. "Where'd Clark go?"

It's rare for the four of them to go out together and eat, so Lois is mad at Clark for bailing out. "What is it this time?" Clark was known for this habit.

Jimmy who was waiting for either Perry or Lois to start eating explained, "CK left his wallet at work.".

Lois sigh unhappily before she grab her spoon and fork. " He'll make it up for us by paying for our dessert " she said as she stab a food with a fork. "Chief you still like banana split sundaes right?"

Perry nodded.

True enough, Clark did pay for his sin ten minutes later when he return. He stammered an apology in greetings.

Later…

Lois could have laugh except she feared that the robber might misunderstood and shoot her instead of seeing the funny side of things like for example, how completely ridiculous Perry look wearing only his socks and brief. "He really need to get out of the sun more," she thought ignoring the robber who was getting agitated at how long Clark gets to get down on socks and underwear.

Lois was please she was wearing her pretty underwear and if it weren't for the circumstances, she got a feeling the males would have given her an appreciative look over. Anyway, she raised an eyebrow at Jimmy who was blushing and fidgeting behind the bulk of Perry. She find it as a sign that not even the robber wouldnt touch his bowtie. Ridiculous fashion statement.

Her wandering thoughts refocus back on Clark who finally was down to his white polo long sleeve after getting rid of his coat, tie, outercoat, his fedora and how ridiculous, he was also wearing a vest!

"Hurry!" One of the two robbers who is in charge as a lookout hiss. Lois hated Jimmy for suggesting this alley as a shortcut.

Clark was biting his lip in concentration as he started unbuttoning his polo. "Lois, close your eyes!" He hiss at his partner when he notice her attention.

Lois was shock. Lois throw a fit. "Shut up!"

Clark took his time to even fold his polo properly and Lois was glad that the guy wasn't aware that she have been stuck dumb for minutes now.

"Clark is gorgeous!" She thought close to fainting at how Clark's muscle flex and tighten as he move. Who knows that the guy hid a perfectly sculpted body underneath those layers of clothes.

She black out when she saw Clark's hand made its way to the zipper of his slacks.

-the end-


End file.
